WHEREAS, the Australian Mammal Society is celebrating its 50th general meeting between 5 and 8 July 2004 at Tanunda, South Australia; and
WHEREAS, the Australian Mammal Society has chosen as its meeting site a habitat from which can be extracted the finest of beverage for such a celebration; and
WHEREAS, the Australian Mammal Society has by deed, and by production of a significant journal and contribution to major non-serial publications, fostered the field of Mammalogy in all three major extant groups of Australasian mammals; and
WHEREAS, in supporting the research of young mammalogists by providing student travel grants to its general meetings as well as by offering the esteemed Adolph Bollinger Award and the Lyne Award, the Australian Mammal Society is investing in the future of Mammalogy in Australia and elsewhere; and
WHEREAS, the Australian Mammal Society generously hosted the American Society of Mammalogists at a joint meeting 20 years ago and produced a special issue of Australian Mammalogy commemorating this meeting; and
WHEREAS, in addition to the research paper and poster presentations, the Australian Mammal Society has perpetuated a lively competition for the best mammalogical limerick and the enviable Scruffy Award as an integral part of its general meetings; and
WHEREAS, for over 60 of its current 84 years of convening, the American Society of Mammalogists’ call for order at board and business meetings was solely by means of a booming male presidential voice before that Society acquired a material symbol of order;
THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that the American Society of Mammalogists at its 84th Annual Meeting at Humboldt State University in Arcata, California, from 12 to 16 June, 2004, salutes the Australian Mammal Society on the occasion of its 50th general meeting and, as a token of this salutation, presents the Society with a gavel, which is offered for use by presidents now and in perpetuity.
RESOLUTION FROM THE AUSTRALIAN MAMMAL SOCIETY
The following resolution was sent to ASM by the Australian Mammal Society upon receiving from ASM the resolution and gavel saluting it on its 50th general meeting:
Response to the American Society of Mammalogists for their salute to the Australian Mammal Society on the occasion of its 50th General Meeting:
WHEREAS, the Australian Mammal Society appreciates the acknowledgment of our Society’s achievements and efforts to foster the study of mammals in Australia; and
WHEREAS, our Society thanks the envoy from the American Society of Mammalogists, Dr. Mary Taylor (see Appendix 1), for carrying those kind words and fro bringing with her a splendid gavel and base (what is the base’s official name? See Appendix 2) for the president’s use now and in perpetuity; and
WHEREAS, our Society prides itself on its willingness to embrace exciting technologies; and
WHEREAS, the American Society of Mammalogists did not provide detailed operating procedures on how to use the gavel and base;
THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that the Australian Mammal Society will adopt this innovative technology for the following ends”: firstly, to crack the skulls of members striving feebly for the annual “Scruffy Award”; secondly, to stamp out entries in the annual limerick award that are not appropriately vulgar or insulting (see examples in appendices); thirdly, to panel=beat the president’s vehicle in the event of collisions with Australian Mammals; fourthly, to dispatch feral cats and cane toads; fifthly, to crack macadamia nuts, and lastly, to call for order at any unruly meetings of the Society.
APPENDIX 1
On the Pioneer Star way back then
Young Mary she had quite a yen
To a lecherous sailor
Replied sweet Miss Taylor
“I came for the mice not the men.”
APPENDIX 2
Whereas ASM gave us a gavel
A gift with which we cannot cavil
The base for this mace
No name can we trace
But from meeting to meeting ‘twill travel.
APPENDIX 3
We’re grateful to you Septic Tanks
Your gavel will clean up our pranks
All scruffiness banned
Bad limericks panned. . . . . . . . . . . .
Perhaps we’ll return it with thanks.